I used to think it was hilarious how my friend Helen would look at pictures of her dancing and call out every little thing that was wrong with her technique. I would tell her how it looked great, stop fussing, and she would in turn glower at the picture some more. I would think to myself how she’s just over exaggerating.
But now I’m
Just.
Like.
Her.
I notice every single thing that’s wrong in any videos or pictures taken of me while I was dancing, and I just end up feeling down and depressed.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
When I first started dancing again my mom confiscated the scale. She insisted that dancers have an unnatural fixation with their weight and are prone to getting eating disorders. My first reaction to this was annoyance. I argued that, hey, you’re over reacting. I don’t need to lose weight, I’m skinny enough. I am not going to get an eating disorder. I love food too much!
But, after a whole semester at the dance studio? Yes, those last two statements are the only two I still believe. Don’t go all psycho on me though, hear me out. If you could see all the girls at the dance studio, you’d understand why I started feeling out of place, or “fat”. I can’t help looking at pictures and watching videos and all the while lamenting the fact that my hips look funny and my shoulders always seem to be hunched over (IMA HUNCH BACK!). I’m not fat, by every day standards, so why do I put myself down?
Because I could be better.
Along with tossing the scale, my mom also forbade any “dieting”. The problem with this is that my mom has a significantly loose definition of what a “diet” is. Even the most discreet suggestion of maybe eating more fruit and vegetables (“eating healthier”) is always met with a suspicious look and opens up a lecture on how I am perfect the way I am.
But seriously, what’s wrong with trying to improve myself? Everyone can be better, so why not me?
There are so many diets out there in the world right now, some healthier than others, so naturally when someone tells you they need to get skinnier and lose some weight, the first thing that pops into your mind is a diet, right?
That’s why I like the phrase “get in shape” better. It’s more centered around exercising and eating healthier things than limiting what you eat and not eating too much in one day. Obviously, I’d have to make sacrifices (such as; not as much sugar, McDonald’s, etc.). If there is one thing right now that I want to learn more about, its nutrition. This is going to sound really stupid, but I have no idea what calories are and how they affect our bodies. When I was younger, sitting at the dinner table, my sister and mom were talking about how many calories our rolls had. When I inquired what they meant, I was told that I was too young to worry about it.
Now, even If I were to ask, it’d be the simple version intended to make it sound like not a big deal so I wouldn’t worry my pretty little head about how much I weigh. Can you imagine how many times I roll my eyes a day?
I don’t want to diet; I want to get in shape.
As a last thought, I’d like to go back to what I said about dancers being over dramatic and self-conscious. Almost every dancer you could ask, they would say that they have made this or that mistake. In the words of Bekah Cornell, “If we did everything perfectly, no one would come to our recitals because they’d have seen it all before. Our mistakes make us unique and original.”
~La vie est belle, Bri~
