There's this rule in my house about dating...well, actually, there are a couple rules. These are rules that are set by my parents, and are nothing personal to the guy in question, but I want to make it clear that I agree and follow these rules willingly, and it's appreciated when people respect them.
Before you ask me out, you'll probably want to know that...
1. I don't single date, and I can't be with guys alone.
I can only go on group or double dates because single dating is considered more serious, and right now I'm not looking for a relationship, so there should be one or more couples with us on our date. The other part of this rule, which goes hand in hand with not single dating, is I am not allowed to be alone with guys at any time. This includes sitting alone in a car or just hanging out as friends. This is a safety measure. I don't want to be put into awkward situations where we might end up doing something we would regret. I understand that these kinds of situations don't happen often, and you're thinking "well I don't think of you that way anyway", but if that's what you think there shouldn't be a problem getting a few more people to go on our date or to hang out.
2. I won't steady date until I'm 18.
Let's be honest here. When you date someone, you're either going to
marry that person or break up. I don't consider myself, right now,
ready for a "serious relationship", nor am I old enough to be getting into one. A relationship is more than "hey I like this person, I'm going to hang out with them more". It's about commitment, give and take, trust, respect, love, and trying to know someone on a deeper level, getting to know who they are. To do those kinds of things, you need to be in tune with who you are, where you stand, and where you're going. What do they need from you? What do you need from them? What do you want? What about them? (etc....) I don't consider myself ready for that at the moment.
3. If I want to go on a date with someone, he has to be interviewed by my dad.
You have to meet the parents (well, just my dad) even if it's just a casual date, which I might have asked you on. Sorry not sorry.
4. I don't date people who aren't members of my church.
I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, also called "Mormons". If you're not a member this one will be hard to understand. I don't think that members of my church are somehow better or more upright than non-members, because I have met several amazing people who aren't members of my church who I would date if they were members.
As a member of the LDS church, I believe that when I marry someone in our temple we are sealed for eternity and that our family will be together forever. Because I want to be married in the temple, I am looking to date those who are worthy to enter the temple. That includes not just their behavior, but whether or not they have been baptized into the church. This is something that is truly important to me, not a personal spite against someone who might ask me on a date and isn't a member, it's what I believe to be true and I am making my way towards that goal.
Well there you are. A guide to going on a date with me. Sort of. Maybe just...guidelines...or a warning...eh they're not that bad.
~La vie est belle, Bri~
Showing posts with label serious issues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label serious issues. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Monday, April 2, 2012
Samantha Koenig
Early February I heard that a young women was abducted in Anchorage. I didn't bother to find out her name or her story; it wasn't really important. I felt like I had too many things going on in my life already, and it was so far away that it just slipped my mind.
Today my Facebook feed was covered with statuses about a girl named Samantha Koenig; they said her body was found in the Matanuska Lake. I realized after looking up the story that the girl who'd been abducted was never found. The girl who I'd just dismissed because it wasn't my problem never got back to her family. I got to thinking...why do things like this happen? What could possibly drive somebody to do something so horrible? And finally...why does God let it happen?
You know, I've read lots of books where people are so angry at God for not preventing things like murders, and I always thought how stupid those people were, how silly and naive. But it's not stupid. It's not silly or naive. It's almost a rational reaction.
Who gave that man the right to decide whether Samantha would live or die? What gives him the right to take away someone's life?
God.
God gave us agency, the right to choose. But what happens when someone chooses to do something awful? What happens to the innocent people they hurt?
I decided to do something that my Sunday school teacher has been stressing all year; study, ponder, and pray. I went to lds.org and looked up my question "Why does God let bad things happen?" and came up with these answers from an article written by John Bytheway:
We Know That God Allows Evil to Exist in the World (Moses 7:26–33)
Sometimes our trials are a direct result of someone using their agency to do evil. Often when tragedy strikes, someone will say, “Well, it must have been God’s will.” What exactly is “God’s will”? It seems to me that God’s will is that we choose righteousness over wickedness! However, He also desires that we have a choice in the matter.
In the Pearl of Great Price, Enoch sees a frightening vision. “And he beheld Satan; and he had a great chain in his hand, and it veiled the whole face of the earth with darkness; and he looked up and laughed, and his angels rejoiced” (Moses 7:26).
Chains often symbolize bondage in the scriptures, and Enoch sees Satan looking up and laughing at the world in chains. Enoch also sees the Lord, who looks down on the sinful world and weeps. Enoch asks:
“How is it that thou canst weep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity?” (Moses 7:29).
The Lord answers in what I think is one of the saddest passages of scripture:
“Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands, and I gave unto them their knowledge, in the day I created them; and in the Garden of Eden, gave I unto man his agency;
“And unto thy brethren have I said, and also given commandment, that they should love one another, and that they should choose me, their Father; but behold, they are without affection, and they hate their own blood” (Moses 7:32–33).
Clearly, what the Lord desires is that we love one another and choose to obey Him. But some do not. They are “without affection.” Everyone on earth has agency, and sometimes those who misuse it have an impact on many innocent people. This scripture provides evidence that the Lord notices the tragedies on the earth and that He is affected by them.
Many of the bad things that happen are contrary to God’s will. But remember that man’s will is temporary, and ultimately God’s will is what will be done.
There are other questions in all of this, too. How many acts of premeditated evil has God prevented? How many of these tragedies could have been much worse? There is no way we could know. Sometimes we see things on the news and ask, “How could God allow this to happen?” Could it be that one day we’ll discover that God prevented much more than He allowed?
How many times has someone prayed that “we might get home in safety,” and we actually did? How many traffic accidents has He helped you avoid? How many times has He inspired you to do something that saved someone from injury? We will never know in this life.
The plan of happiness allows for agency, and therefore it also allows for evil. There is no flaw in the plan.
...Why did this happen to me? (or, why did this happen to them?)
Everyone on earth has agency, and sometimes those who misuse it have an impact on many innocent people.
How could God allow evil to happen?
Don’t let tragedy define your life.
We may never have all the answers in this life.
The next step is to ponder and pray. I'll be praying for Samantha's family, that they will find peace and understanding. I'll be praying that I find the understanding I am looking for.
~La vie est belle, Bri~
Today my Facebook feed was covered with statuses about a girl named Samantha Koenig; they said her body was found in the Matanuska Lake. I realized after looking up the story that the girl who'd been abducted was never found. The girl who I'd just dismissed because it wasn't my problem never got back to her family. I got to thinking...why do things like this happen? What could possibly drive somebody to do something so horrible? And finally...why does God let it happen?
You know, I've read lots of books where people are so angry at God for not preventing things like murders, and I always thought how stupid those people were, how silly and naive. But it's not stupid. It's not silly or naive. It's almost a rational reaction.
Who gave that man the right to decide whether Samantha would live or die? What gives him the right to take away someone's life?
God.
God gave us agency, the right to choose. But what happens when someone chooses to do something awful? What happens to the innocent people they hurt?
I decided to do something that my Sunday school teacher has been stressing all year; study, ponder, and pray. I went to lds.org and looked up my question "Why does God let bad things happen?" and came up with these answers from an article written by John Bytheway:
We Know That God Allows Evil to Exist in the World (Moses 7:26–33)
Sometimes our trials are a direct result of someone using their agency to do evil. Often when tragedy strikes, someone will say, “Well, it must have been God’s will.” What exactly is “God’s will”? It seems to me that God’s will is that we choose righteousness over wickedness! However, He also desires that we have a choice in the matter.
In the Pearl of Great Price, Enoch sees a frightening vision. “And he beheld Satan; and he had a great chain in his hand, and it veiled the whole face of the earth with darkness; and he looked up and laughed, and his angels rejoiced” (Moses 7:26).
Chains often symbolize bondage in the scriptures, and Enoch sees Satan looking up and laughing at the world in chains. Enoch also sees the Lord, who looks down on the sinful world and weeps. Enoch asks:
“How is it that thou canst weep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity?” (Moses 7:29).
The Lord answers in what I think is one of the saddest passages of scripture:
“Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands, and I gave unto them their knowledge, in the day I created them; and in the Garden of Eden, gave I unto man his agency;
“And unto thy brethren have I said, and also given commandment, that they should love one another, and that they should choose me, their Father; but behold, they are without affection, and they hate their own blood” (Moses 7:32–33).
Clearly, what the Lord desires is that we love one another and choose to obey Him. But some do not. They are “without affection.” Everyone on earth has agency, and sometimes those who misuse it have an impact on many innocent people. This scripture provides evidence that the Lord notices the tragedies on the earth and that He is affected by them.
Many of the bad things that happen are contrary to God’s will. But remember that man’s will is temporary, and ultimately God’s will is what will be done.
There are other questions in all of this, too. How many acts of premeditated evil has God prevented? How many of these tragedies could have been much worse? There is no way we could know. Sometimes we see things on the news and ask, “How could God allow this to happen?” Could it be that one day we’ll discover that God prevented much more than He allowed?
How many times has someone prayed that “we might get home in safety,” and we actually did? How many traffic accidents has He helped you avoid? How many times has He inspired you to do something that saved someone from injury? We will never know in this life.
The plan of happiness allows for agency, and therefore it also allows for evil. There is no flaw in the plan.
...Why did this happen to me? (or, why did this happen to them?)
Everyone on earth has agency, and sometimes those who misuse it have an impact on many innocent people.
How could God allow evil to happen?
Don’t let tragedy define your life.
We may never have all the answers in this life.
The next step is to ponder and pray. I'll be praying for Samantha's family, that they will find peace and understanding. I'll be praying that I find the understanding I am looking for.
~La vie est belle, Bri~
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I don’t want to diet; I want to get in shape.
So, if you’ve ever danced, you know that natural instinct that insists you do everything perfectly immediately. It’s unavoidable. Even if your teachers are pushing you hard (and believe me, teachers can be super harsh sometimes), the one who’s really pushing is you. Dancers have a tendency to be extremely unforgiving of our mistakes, even when we don’t have to be. It’s a mental glitch placed the moment you step into a studio for your first class.
I used to think it was hilarious how my friend Helen would look at pictures of her dancing and call out every little thing that was wrong with her technique. I would tell her how it looked great, stop fussing, and she would in turn glower at the picture some more. I would think to myself how she’s just over exaggerating.
But now I’m
Just.
Like.
Her.
I notice every single thing that’s wrong in any videos or pictures taken of me while I was dancing, and I just end up feeling down and depressed.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
When I first started dancing again my mom confiscated the scale. She insisted that dancers have an unnatural fixation with their weight and are prone to getting eating disorders. My first reaction to this was annoyance. I argued that, hey, you’re over reacting. I don’t need to lose weight, I’m skinny enough. I am not going to get an eating disorder. I love food too much!
But, after a whole semester at the dance studio? Yes, those last two statements are the only two I still believe. Don’t go all psycho on me though, hear me out. If you could see all the girls at the dance studio, you’d understand why I started feeling out of place, or “fat”. I can’t help looking at pictures and watching videos and all the while lamenting the fact that my hips look funny and my shoulders always seem to be hunched over (IMA HUNCH BACK!). I’m not fat, by every day standards, so why do I put myself down?
Because I could be better.
Along with tossing the scale, my mom also forbade any “dieting”. The problem with this is that my mom has a significantly loose definition of what a “diet” is. Even the most discreet suggestion of maybe eating more fruit and vegetables (“eating healthier”) is always met with a suspicious look and opens up a lecture on how I am perfect the way I am.
But seriously, what’s wrong with trying to improve myself? Everyone can be better, so why not me?
There are so many diets out there in the world right now, some healthier than others, so naturally when someone tells you they need to get skinnier and lose some weight, the first thing that pops into your mind is a diet, right?
That’s why I like the phrase “get in shape” better. It’s more centered around exercising and eating healthier things than limiting what you eat and not eating too much in one day. Obviously, I’d have to make sacrifices (such as; not as much sugar, McDonald’s, etc.). If there is one thing right now that I want to learn more about, its nutrition. This is going to sound really stupid, but I have no idea what calories are and how they affect our bodies. When I was younger, sitting at the dinner table, my sister and mom were talking about how many calories our rolls had. When I inquired what they meant, I was told that I was too young to worry about it.
Now, even If I were to ask, it’d be the simple version intended to make it sound like not a big deal so I wouldn’t worry my pretty little head about how much I weigh. Can you imagine how many times I roll my eyes a day?
I don’t want to diet; I want to get in shape.
As a last thought, I’d like to go back to what I said about dancers being over dramatic and self-conscious. Almost every dancer you could ask, they would say that they have made this or that mistake. In the words of Bekah Cornell, “If we did everything perfectly, no one would come to our recitals because they’d have seen it all before. Our mistakes make us unique and original.”
I used to think it was hilarious how my friend Helen would look at pictures of her dancing and call out every little thing that was wrong with her technique. I would tell her how it looked great, stop fussing, and she would in turn glower at the picture some more. I would think to myself how she’s just over exaggerating.
But now I’m
Just.
Like.
Her.
I notice every single thing that’s wrong in any videos or pictures taken of me while I was dancing, and I just end up feeling down and depressed.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
When I first started dancing again my mom confiscated the scale. She insisted that dancers have an unnatural fixation with their weight and are prone to getting eating disorders. My first reaction to this was annoyance. I argued that, hey, you’re over reacting. I don’t need to lose weight, I’m skinny enough. I am not going to get an eating disorder. I love food too much!
But, after a whole semester at the dance studio? Yes, those last two statements are the only two I still believe. Don’t go all psycho on me though, hear me out. If you could see all the girls at the dance studio, you’d understand why I started feeling out of place, or “fat”. I can’t help looking at pictures and watching videos and all the while lamenting the fact that my hips look funny and my shoulders always seem to be hunched over (IMA HUNCH BACK!). I’m not fat, by every day standards, so why do I put myself down?
Because I could be better.
Along with tossing the scale, my mom also forbade any “dieting”. The problem with this is that my mom has a significantly loose definition of what a “diet” is. Even the most discreet suggestion of maybe eating more fruit and vegetables (“eating healthier”) is always met with a suspicious look and opens up a lecture on how I am perfect the way I am.
But seriously, what’s wrong with trying to improve myself? Everyone can be better, so why not me?
There are so many diets out there in the world right now, some healthier than others, so naturally when someone tells you they need to get skinnier and lose some weight, the first thing that pops into your mind is a diet, right?
That’s why I like the phrase “get in shape” better. It’s more centered around exercising and eating healthier things than limiting what you eat and not eating too much in one day. Obviously, I’d have to make sacrifices (such as; not as much sugar, McDonald’s, etc.). If there is one thing right now that I want to learn more about, its nutrition. This is going to sound really stupid, but I have no idea what calories are and how they affect our bodies. When I was younger, sitting at the dinner table, my sister and mom were talking about how many calories our rolls had. When I inquired what they meant, I was told that I was too young to worry about it.
Now, even If I were to ask, it’d be the simple version intended to make it sound like not a big deal so I wouldn’t worry my pretty little head about how much I weigh. Can you imagine how many times I roll my eyes a day?
I don’t want to diet; I want to get in shape.
As a last thought, I’d like to go back to what I said about dancers being over dramatic and self-conscious. Almost every dancer you could ask, they would say that they have made this or that mistake. In the words of Bekah Cornell, “If we did everything perfectly, no one would come to our recitals because they’d have seen it all before. Our mistakes make us unique and original.”
~La vie est belle, Bri~
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Five and Ten Year Plans
In Five Years I will have…
I could have…
In Ten Years I will have…
I could have…
- Graduated from high school in the spring of 2014
- Been accepted to a college (an arts college or BYU) and attended my Freshman and Sophomore years (2014-15, 2015-16) studying dance, business management, and creative writing.
- Attended church diligently
I could have…
- Taught at a local studio of dance for extra money
- Visited my family for holidays
- Gotten tan
In Ten Years I will have…
- Graduated college with a (doctorate? Bachelors?) in dance.
- Gotten married in the temple.
- Opened a dance studio (with Renaye?) in (a state that’s not too warm but not too cold).
I could have…
- Held a calling in the church.
- Visited with old friends.
- Watched Helen perform an amazing ballet piece with a ballet company.
My Goals
My Goals (Summer 2012)
1) Dance at Sonja’s
a. Ballet 2b
b. Jazz 3b
c. Lyrical 2
d. Modern 1/2
2) Get through Pre-Algebra
3) Catch up in Seminary
What I need
1) Dance
a. $700+ for classes and gas/food
b. Advance in my classes during spring semester
2) Math
a. Workbook
b. Time
3) Seminary
a. Scriptures
b. Manual
c. Time
My Plans
Dance
1) Advance to the higher classes (mentioned above)
a. Be more attentive in class
b. Workout/Stretch Daily
i. 10 minute jog
ii. 50 crunches
iii. Ballet ab work
iv. Other stretches
c. Practice more
i. Barre work
d. More outgoing in class
i. Ask questions (at the end of class, preferably)
e. Eat healthier
i. Not a diet, just healthier food. No more McDonald’s and soda all the time!
2) Money
a. Penny Per Page
i. “I’m working towards a scholarship for dance”.
ii. Maybe make a video of me dancing, and explaining what I want?
b. Babysitting
i. For gas/food money
c. Photography
i. Ask mom
Pre-Algebra
1) Do an hour a day
a. Stay on schedule
Seminary
1) Do a lesson a day
a. Extra when I can
2) Read my scriptures
a. Every night
Friday, October 21, 2011
Vaccines
This is Ian Gromowski 9 days after the hepatitis b vaccination. It caused a serious reaction, which proved fatal. Ian's parents set up a website to warn other parents about the harm vaccines can cause.
Visit 'Ian's Voice' here:
http://iansvoice.org/default.aspx
When I saw this picture circulating on Facebook, I wanted to cry. This is so awful! Vaccines are not safe, and I am never vaccinating my children.
Child Abduction
Click on the picture to view a video that is being passed around Facebook. The video is about child abduction.
This signature seems almost silly to attach to this post: ~La vie est belle, Bri~
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