Before you ask me out, you'll probably want to know that...

There's this rule in my house about dating...well, actually, there are a couple rules. These are rules that are set by my parents, and are nothing personal to the guy in question, but I want to make it clear that I agree and follow these rules willingly, and it's appreciated when people respect them.

Before you ask me out, you'll probably want to know that...

1. I don't single date, and I can't be with guys alone. 
I can only go on group or double dates because single dating is considered more serious, and right now I'm not looking for a relationship, so there should be one or more couples with us on our date. The other part of this rule, which goes hand in hand with not single dating, is I am not allowed to be alone with guys at any time. This includes sitting alone in a car or just hanging out as friends. This is a safety measure. I don't want to be put into awkward situations where we might end up doing something we would regret. I understand that these kinds of situations don't happen often, and you're thinking "well I don't think of you that way anyway", but if that's what you think there shouldn't be a problem getting a few more people to go on our date or to hang out.

2. I won't steady date until I'm 18.
Let's be honest here. When you date someone, you're either going to marry that person or break up. I don't consider myself, right now, ready for a "serious relationship", nor am I old enough to be getting into one. A relationship is more than "hey I like this person, I'm going to hang out with them more". It's about commitment, give and take, trust, respect, love, and trying to know someone on a deeper level, getting to know who they are. To do those kinds of things, you need to be in tune with who you are, where you stand, and where you're going. What do they need from you? What do you need from them? What do you want? What about them? (etc....) I don't consider myself ready for that at the moment.

3. If I want to go on a date with someone, he has to be interviewed by my dad.
You have to meet the parents (well, just my dad) even if it's just a casual date, which I might have asked you on. Sorry not sorry.

4. I don't date people who aren't members of my church.
I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, also called "Mormons". If you're not a member this one will be hard to understand. I don't think that members of my church are somehow better or more upright than non-members, because I have met several amazing people who aren't members of my church who I would date if they were members.
As a member of the LDS church, I believe that when I marry someone in our temple we are sealed for eternity and that our family will be together forever. Because I want to be married in the temple, I am looking to date those who are worthy to enter the temple. That includes not just their behavior, but whether or not they have been baptized into the church. This is something that is truly important to me, not a personal spite against someone who might ask me on a date and isn't a member, it's what I believe to be true and I am making my way towards that goal.

Well there you are. A guide to going on a date with me. Sort of. Maybe just...guidelines...or a warning...eh they're not that bad.

~La vie est belle, Bri~

5 Things To Do While You're Single

What? Another article not written by yours truly? It's okay, you'll have a full post from me eventually, but for now enjoy this wonderful list of things to do while you're single from Jarrid Wilson.

Being single isn’t a disease, it’s an opportunity for you to grow, learn, and experience life in a way that you won’t be able to when you are married.

Here are 5 things to do while you’re single:

1. Be firm in your faith. 
- Build your faith on a foundation that cannot be shaken, no matter whom you encounter. This will not only bring you peace during your season of singleness, but will also help you in your journey of finding the person you plan on being with for the rest of your life.Don’t let your beliefs change depending on whom you’re trying to impress. This tactic will always come around to hurt you in the long run.

2. Get grounded in your personal identity. 
- Know who you are before trying to explain it to someone else. Be confident in your purpose, your body, your identity, and your life choices. Relationships will not fix your identity problems, but they can be an added bonus to who you are as a person.

3. Focus on school, or starting you career. 
- You have a lot of time on your hands. Instead of spending it wallowing in your singleness, GO MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELF! You are worth more than what sitting on a couch waiting for your significant other makes you out to be. Step out into the world and take maturity by the horns. Start building your future instead of simply dreaming about it.

4. Learn to be independent until needed otherwise. 
- There is nothing wrong with aspiring to be a stay at home mom, or even being a man who works from home. But until either of these opportunities come into play, you need to make sure you are doing everything possible to provide for yourself, your future family, and your future aspirations. Don’t live day-to-day. Plan for the future, and look forward to the possibilities. You owe it to yourself to mature in all. 

5. Stop dating people you know aren’t right for you. 
 - While you’re single, stay away from mindless dating experiences. If you know they aren’t your type, don’t give them the time of day. All you are going to do is hurt them and eventually confuse your heart. Stop dating the wrong people and start focusing on becoming the right person.

***

~La vie est belle, Bri~

Learning New Things

I'm having an awful time with these great ideas that pop up from in my head or an outside source. They keep taking root in my mind and refusing to leave. Guess who decided what a wonderful idea it would be to learn the LDS Young Women theme in French?

If you guessed me, you're right. If you didn't guess me, well...kudos to you, but you lost.

The game.

Okay, enough trolling. Let's get to business. Once I saw this idea (yep, came from an outside source), I decided to look around the internet for the theme translated into French. I didn't want to just use Google translate. BUT, I haven't come up with anything solid yet.

My mom told me to find a boy who speaks French who can teach it to me.

Ha. HAHAHA ha. Okay.

Here's the theme in English:

We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love him. We will "stand as witnesses of God in all times and in all things, and in all places" as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are:

Faith
Divine Nature
Individual Worth
Knowledge
Choice and Accountability
Good Works
Integrity
and Virtue

We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values, we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.

~~~

Can I just say typing that all out by hand makes me appreciate what it says more than ever? Okay good, because it does.

~La vie est belle, Bri~

Five and Ten Year Plans

In Five Years I will have…

• Graduated from high school in the spring of 2014
• Been accepted to a college (an arts college or BYU) and attended my Freshman and Sophomore years (2014-15, 2015-16) studying dance, business management, and creative writing.
• Attended church diligently 

I could have…

• Taught at a local studio of dance for extra money
• Visited my family for holidays
• Gotten tan 

In Ten Years I will have…

• Graduated college with a (doctorate? Bachelors?) in dance.
• Gotten married in the temple.
• Opened a dance studio (with Renaye?) in (a state that’s not too warm but not too cold). 

I could have…

• Held a calling in the church.
• Visited with old friends.
• Watched Helen perform an amazing ballet piece with a ballet company.

The Man of My Dreams

Another "click on the picture to see the post" from my Auntie Amy. She is by far my favorite Aunt in the world, and she inspires me so much. I love this post about her husband, and hope someday I'll be lucky enough to find someone like him :)

~La vie est belle, Bri~

Marriage

Married or not, you should read this.

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me…she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

~La vie est belle, Bri~