How to See a Woman

So I love it when I find articles that just kind of make sense to me, and are something I think are worth sharing with the rest of the world. I stole this particular article from my friend Mason (check him out here). This was written by a pastor for Christ's Community Church.

"Someday I am going to have to have the conversation with my son. No, not the conversation all parents dread giving and all kids are mortified having. I enjoy making people uncomfortable, so that conversation should be fun.
No, I’m talking about another conversation. The one that happens after I catch his eye doing what male eyes do well — following an object of lust. We will probably be out at the mall, because that’s what dads do with their sons, and I’ll catch the look. Maybe we’ll go to the beach and see it. Doesn’t matter where it is. There will come a time when I will see it. And then it will be time for this conversation.
Hey, come here. Let me talk to you. I saw you look at her. I’m not judging you or shaming you. I know why you did. I get it. But we have to talk about it because how you look at a woman matters.
A lot of people will try and tell you that a woman should watch how she dresses so she doesn’t tempt you to look at her wrongly. Here is what I will tell you. It is a woman’s responsibility to dress herself in the morning. It is your responsibility to look at her like a human being regardless of what she is wearing. You will feel the temptation to blame her for your wandering eyes because of what she is wearing — or not wearing. But don’t. Don’t play the victim. You are not a helpless victim when it comes to your eyes. You have full control over them. Exercise that control. Train them to look her in the eyes. Discipline yourself to see her, not her clothes or her body. The moment you play the victim, you fall into the lie that you are simply embodied reaction to external stimuli unable to determine right from wrong, human from flesh.
Look right at me. That is a ridiculous lie.
You are more than that. And the woman you are looking at is more than her clothes. She is more than her body. There is a lot of talk about how men objectify women, and largely, it is true. Humans objectify the things they love in effort to control them. If you truly love a person, do not reduce them to an object. The moment you objectify another human — woman or man — you give up your humanity.
There are two views regarding a woman’s dress code that you will be pressured to buy into. One view will say that women need to dress to get the attention of men. The other view will say women need to dress to protect men from themselves. Son, you are better than both of these. A woman, or any human being, should not have to dress to get your attention. You should give them the full attention they deserve simply because they are a fellow human being. On the other side, a woman should not have to feel like she needs to protect you from you. You need to be in control of you.
Unfortunately, much of how the sexes interact with each is rooted in fear. Fear of rejection, fear of abuse, fear of being out of control. In some ways, the church has added to this. We fear each other because we have been taught the other is dangerous. We’ve been a taught a woman’s body will cause men to sin. We’re told that if a woman shows too much of her body men will do stupid things. Let’s be clear: A woman’s body is not dangerous to you. Her body will not cause you harm. It will not make you do stupid things. If you do stupid things, it is because you chose to do stupid things. So don’t contribute to the fear that exists between men and women.
A woman’s body is beautiful and wonderful and mysterious. Respect it by respecting her as an individual with hopes and dreams and experiences and emotions and longings. Let her be confident. Encourage her confidence. But don’t do all this because she is weaker. That’s the biggest bunch of crap out there. Women are not weaker than men. They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
My hope is that changing how you see women will change how you are around them. Don’t just be around women. Be with women.
Because in the end, they want to be with you. Without fear of being judged, or shamed, or condemned, or objectified or being treated as other. And that’s not just what women want. That’s what people want. Ultimately, it’s what you want."

I love how he's "talking" to his son about his responsibility to look at women right. We're always going around trying to place blame on a man or a woman individually for this sort of thing, when we should both be taking equal responsibility because we respect each other.
Now girls, don't take this as an excuse to dress inappropriately, because you also have your own responsibilities. "Don’t play the victim. You are not a helpless victim." The same goes for you. Don't blame him for his wandering eyes when you're presenting him with something to wander over. You need to demand respect by respecting yourself.

~La vie est belle, Bri~

27 Ways to Get More Stuff Done

So I am back in a Alaska. Yay.

I hurt my ankle the day of my flight and suffered through a six and a half hour flight which ended with my ankle swollen three times it's size and pulsing in pain. Ouch. I know. So I am kind of confined to the couch for the next week. Well, confined to the couch when my mom is paying attention.

I hate sitting around. I have to be DOING something, and Facebook isn't quite cutting it. So I hopped over to Pinterest for a little bit to ease my boredom and found this little gem, an article about productivity. (P.S. The title has a swear word in it, sorry!)

~ Click Here ~

This got me thinking about everything I have to do this year. It's my senior year of high school, and I'm a little behind on what I'm supposed to have accomplished. That's what I get for graduating early. 

Anyway, my most important priorities are studying for the ACT, becoming a dancing beast, and making sure I have all the credits I need to graduate and get into the college of my choice. Oh yeah, and did I mention I'm supposed to apply to colleges? 

Scary.  

Check ya later, gotta go to do grown-uppy stuff. 

~La vie est belle, Bri~

 

SYTYCD Treasures Season 10

Check out a couple of my favorite routines from the two episodes of this season of SYTYCD I've seen so far.
 

Click on the above picture for a breathtaking waltz performed by MaKenzie Dustman and Paul Karmiryan on SYTYCD season 10. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Words really cannot describe it.It's just...watch it. Now.

Brittany and Bluprint doing an African Jazz piece. Dude. Blueprint is a fricken ANIMATOR. He's fantastic!!! CLICK ON THE PICTURE.

This...Jasmine and Alan....Travis Wall Contemporary with BLINDFOLDS. I can't even...just...watch it. Now.

~La vie est belle, Bri~

Quotes and Things

So you've heard of Pinterest, right? Of course you have, it's not like you've been living under a rock. Unless of course you have, in which case I apologize and that's super cool.

Anyway, I have an entire board dedicated to quotes and sayings and little quirky things and I realized I've basically buried them there; pinned them and never looked back. So, like my lovely "random writing" post, I'm going to go through and post some of them here.

"You create beauty with your behavior, your attitude, your actions; it's all up to you."

"As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen." - Winnie ther Pooh

"Even after all this time the Sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me". Look what happens with a love like that...it lights up the whole sky."

"You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you all your own." D. M. Dellinger

"I like people who smile when it's raining." (If you've ever been around me when it's raining, you know how much I love it."

"When you have a bad day, a really bad day, try and treat the world better than it treated you." - Patrick Stump

"Your life is your message to the world. Make sure it's inspiring."

"The cure for anything is salt water- sweat, tears, or the sea." - Isak Dinesen

"Sometimes I have to remind myself that I don't have to do what everyone else is doing."

"So this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be." - The Perks of Being a Wallflower

"You will come to know that what appears today to be a sacrifice will prove instead to be the greatest investment you will ever make." - Gordon B. Hinckley

"Life is like a piano, the white keys represent happiness and the black show sadness. But as you go through life's journey remember the black keys also create music."

"And then my soul saw you and it kind of went, "Oh there you are. I've been looking for you."

"Worry is a misuse of your imagination."

"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." - Sigmund Freud

"Enjoy the little things in life. For one day you will look back and realize they were the big things."

"Here's to books, the cheapest vacation you can buy." - Charlaine Harris

"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory." - Dr. Suess

"You only live once, but if you do it right once is enough."

"La vie est belle." 

I'll be back with more. Many more.

Follow me on Pinterest here.

~La vie est belle, Bri~

Learning New Things

I'm having an awful time with these great ideas that pop up from in my head or an outside source. They keep taking root in my mind and refusing to leave. Guess who decided what a wonderful idea it would be to learn the LDS Young Women theme in French?

If you guessed me, you're right. If you didn't guess me, well...kudos to you, but you lost.

The game.

Okay, enough trolling. Let's get to business. Once I saw this idea (yep, came from an outside source), I decided to look around the internet for the theme translated into French. I didn't want to just use Google translate. BUT, I haven't come up with anything solid yet.

My mom told me to find a boy who speaks French who can teach it to me.

Ha. HAHAHA ha. Okay.

Here's the theme in English:

We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love him. We will "stand as witnesses of God in all times and in all things, and in all places" as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are:

Faith
Divine Nature
Individual Worth
Knowledge
Choice and Accountability
Good Works
Integrity
and Virtue

We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values, we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.

~~~

Can I just say typing that all out by hand makes me appreciate what it says more than ever? Okay good, because it does.

~La vie est belle, Bri~

Random Writing

Do you ever have the urge to just write so you pull up a Microsoft document, but never finish what you started and it never sees the light of day again? If so, you aren't the only one. I have a million "random writing" or "writing" documents skulking around on my computer. I guess it's time to set them free. Here goes, document numero uno.

Have you ever watched a movie or read a book and just felt that tug, the vital need for that relationship, that romance, that cheesy cuteness? That feeling that leaves you giddy for the rest of the day, singing and dancing around like a young lover? Watching a love story unfold is the most heart wrenching, stomach twisting, beautifully enjoyable thing that I think I have ever felt.
 The feeling of overwhelming certainty that those people, that man and woman, are meant to be together, and that if they don’t end up with each other you might die a little bit inside. You feel as if you’re a part of that journey, and that somehow through it all, in this one love story out of many, a part of your longing put to rest, a part of you, fulfilled.

(Book idea time!) 

Taking a deep breath, Emily made her way to the ornate wooden doors leading into the chapel, only to find her mother in tears and her father attempting to calm her down with a face crimson with fury . Confused, she looked toward the altar, searching for Brad. He wasn’t there. She felt the eyes of her friends and family boring into her, full of pity. With a sudden pang, Emily realized what had happened, and rushed back to her dressing room, futilely fighting back the onslaught of tears.

Brad hadn’t come to the wedding. Emily sat alone in her dressing room trying to figure out what could have possibly gone wrong. Pools of white tulle and satin encompassed her where she sat on the floor in front of the beautiful full length mirror that earlier had resonated with happiness, but now cruelly mocked her.

(After showing a friend this and answering some pointed questions, hey mocked my character as selfish and unrealistic, so I wrote the following sentences).

She lived the rest of her life attempting to climb her way out of the debt that resulted from her extravagant wedding, and became an old maid; never finding love because she was too lazy and dressed like a hobo. The end.

(Here was my angry rant against those "practical" people.) 

Maybe it’ll work itself out. Maybe I’ll be rescued by a Prince Charming, who’ll sweep me off my feet and we’ll ride away into the sunset. Maybe I’ll never have to worry about anything ever again. But that’s not how life works. Emily knew that, but who really wants to know that? Why do people give up dreams and fairy tales, embracing practicality and “reality”? We can’t enjoy life when all we think about is sensibleness. You shouldn’t just endure life, you should enjoy it. It’s not just about getting through the storm, it’s about dancing in the rain. What happened to spontaneity?

That's my random writing document post for today. Hope you enjoyed it. 
 
~La vie est belle, Bri~

22 Things Happy People Do Differently

I believe our self image is linked directly with how happy we are, so here are some great tips on how to live your life to be happier, and to love yourself more.

 This article is from Chiara Fucarino over at Successify!

There are two types of people in the world: those who choose to be happy, and those who choose to be unhappy. Contrary to popular belief, happiness doesn’t come from fame, fortune, other people, or material possessions. Rather, it comes from within. The richest person in the world could be miserable while a homeless person could be right outside, smiling and content with their life.

Happy people are happy because they make themselves happy. They maintain a positive outlook on life and remain at peace with themselves. The question is: how do they do that? It’s quite simple. Happy people have good habits that enhance their lives. They do things differently. Ask any happy person, and they will tell you that the they;

1. Don’t hold grudges. Happy people understand that it’s better to forgive and forget than to let their negative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your wellbeing, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let go of all your grudges, you’ll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to enjoy the good things in life.

 2. Treat everyone with kindness. Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.

3. See problems as challenges. The word “problem” is never part of a happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.

4. Express gratitude for what they already have. There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don’t have.

 5. Dream big. People who get into the habit of dreaming big are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don’t. If you dare to dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state.

6. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.

7. Speak well of others. Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.

8. Never make excuses. Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.

 9. Get absorbed into the present. Happy people don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they’re doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses.

 10. Wake up at the same time every morning. Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered state.

 11. Avoid social comparison. Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.

12. Choose friends wisely. Misery loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.

 13. Never seek approval from others. Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own.

14. Take the time to listen. Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others’ wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.

15. Nurture social relationships. A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.

16. Meditate. Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves.

17. Eat well. Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape.

 18. Exercise. Studies have shown that exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft does. Exercising also boosts your self-esteem and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment.

 19. Live minimally. Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items.

 20. Tell the truth. Lying stresses you out, corrodes your self-esteem, and makes you unlikeable. The truth will set you free. Being honest improves your mental health and builds others’ trust in you. Always be truthful, and never apologize for it.

 21. Establish personal control. Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don’t let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one’s own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth.

22. Accept what cannot be changed. Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you’ll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better.

~La vie est belle, Bri~